sharm

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 08:44:50 GMT

sugar daddy chronicles 2

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:31:48 GMT

Overpriced cigarettes, expensive wine and the exact lifestyle I've always dreamed of : Shopping my feet off at brands no one can really pronounce.
Investment I say.
I'm off to meet Mr. X (oh how I try to pretend to be part of sex and the city, I even got a pair of those bright pink booties) tomorrow for a late lunch and a full day of shopping I hope.
Got to take Wai Yew to look at costumes first. Grahhh I'm excited about shopping :D

The sugar daddy chronicles

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 11:08:35 GMT

I miss Neeta Nelson so much I feel like setting wolverine on the world. My annoying twittering bird that is, not the X-men representative - I'd much rather keep him to myself.

So last night was spent in a haze of gray goose and whiskey. I swear, Dora and I have the best nights out. And shopping shopping shopping! I have a new favorite place: Basheer's bookstore. It's got the most amazing collection of fine arts books. Spent a bomb there on an arts history book which I can't wait to start devouring. I need to stop with the random book / cd / clothes / techie purchases. I want that ice cream book. Grr. It's so pretty! And it looks hell interesting.

Wednesday will come soon enough, and I absolutely can't wait. I think.

royaalll

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:13:51 GMT

I've come to realize that I have this natural ability to push whatever it is I don't want to face, into a tiny box which I lock away in the back of my mind.

So today was pretty kick-ass. I've re-discovered my love for books. mmm an entirely expensive indulgence of mine especially when coupled with the amount I've been spending on my wardrobe.

I cleaned my room out. And something a friend of Dora's said today struck me. "Why?" I mean honestly I didn't really think about the motivation until that moment. Granted it was two years overdue and my parents were on my ass to get it done. But that wasn't it. I mean it's been that way for ages, yet for some reason I felt a need to get everything done within this week. I guess it's symbolic to a certain degree. Throwing out the expired (and I'm not talking just makeup).

Life has gotten 'cleaner' recently. I'm actually happy. I guess Neeta had a point there when she said single life was addictive. I hated it the last time, the two years were pretty much agony, what with the searching for the 'one'. But I've come to realize that there really is no prince charming, or william darcy. It's what you make of life.

Certain decisions I've made of late might reflect terribly on my moral code. But I've chosen to turn a deaf ear to the haters. I mean honestly, it's an entirely personal decision. I know I might sound entirely vague - but those who know what I'm talking about know what I'm talking about. Oooo how mysterious of me :D

But yes, I guess in life you can't have more than one goal. You can't travel to two destinations at one go. So it's all about making what I have work and right now it seems that things seem to be falling into place in that aspect. I'm done rambling. Back to that delish book I bought today. (gosh I need to stop with the books AND cds. gr)

double double toil and trouble

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:42:07 GMT

SECOND UPDATE IN A DAY.
I'm just putting off cleaning out my closet (tre eminem I realize, but I really do need to especially with uni starting soon and all that jazz.)
and I get to go shop shop shop my wallet off tomorrow.
Gladiators here I come.

Dora darling I hope you feel better. You looked like emily rose earlier <3 lurr you long tymmm schmexy

new new new old

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:14:34 GMT

You’ll forget what I said, what I did- but you won’t forget how I made you feel.
- Maya Angelou

New school, old hobbies, new friends, old friends, new clothes, old revamped wardrobe, new shoes, old repaired shoes, new phone, old ----, new CDs, old CDs. I could go on.

BUT YAY. FUCKING NEW LIFE.

I'm excited beyond belief and I can't wait for term / dance practice / LIFE to start. There are so many things that I've been wanting to do and some of them are finally being realized. I absolutely can't wait. Not entirely coherent right now but I'm happy.

I'm glad my dysfunctional relationship ended. I hadn't realized how draining it was until I looked upon it in retrospect. So many things are better now. So it's all about sugar daddies and parties now.

GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY MY FELLOW TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES.

The friction in your jeans.

Sun, 03 May 2009 17:15:42 GMT

Dramatics aside, life is absolutely peachy.

Things have changed though. It's settled into a routine of hand picked people I've grown to love. I know I've been callous in my choice of friends in the past and now I finally have a balance. And we're all working towards what's now coined as the "friends scenario". The things we come up with. -.- Now all I need to do is score that dream job and everything is absolutely set. Oh and we need to meet Chandler. Hahahaha.

Le best friend is flying away for a few days. My brain's all over the place at the moment, so don't mind the disjointedness. Grah, I'm listening to pretty songs, sneezing my lungs out and over-thinking a cold war. I need a cigarette.

How is it that when you get exactly what you want, it turns out wrong beyond reason? I mean I expected a couple of road bumps not the mount fucking everest in the middle of the lane. Rahhh I shan't dwell. So I'm reading a trashy chick lit book, I mean after the overload of classics I've earned as much. I think my escapist tendencies are becoming more deep set.

Ugh whatever I'm going back to reading. I think I'll text Dora for coffee in the afternoon. Mmm fun stuff. Alright I'm quite done with the royal ramble of sorts. It is one in the morning so it's not entirely my fault.

OH OH AND I HAVE A NEWFOUND LOVE FOR X MEN :D

Alright now I'm officially done. All proclamations out of my system, I think?

mid morning rambles

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 21:19:34 GMT

The apple that kept the doctor away
or
The forbidden fruit of Eden?

Is it really even a choice that needs to be made? Sweet familiarity in dangerous circumstances.
Oh the joys of life.

But yes, my love life, as per usual ladies and gentlemen has taken a turn for the worse, and followed that road right off a cliff. Did I mention that it'd chained itself to a 1000 lb weight before it plunged off said cliff into the deep, blue sea? Yes that's how bad it is. A car crash in the making. It's either I'm a creature of habit, or the eternal masochist. But dismal news aside, everything else is looking up.

Plans are in flux at the moment since there are quite a few things to take into consideration. Options are very, very open so that's cause for celebration if anything. I'm feeling slightly odd at the moment so excuse this entry. There's too much on my mind and I'm thinking a mile a minute.

Damn I think I'm going slightly mad. I hate how I haven't tired of you though it's been three years. I hate how your taste haunts me. I hate how you make me burn with desire the minute you say hello. All the damned time. I'm glad things are different now, but I hate how you make it so difficult not to fall. It's a good thing you made me the cold bitch I am, cause a lesser being would be wrapped around your finger by now. Oh my beautiful free boy, it's almost laughable seeing you try flee from your cage, when it needn't be there in the first place.

I'm rambling I best be off

random

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:08:22 GMT

Why do I have to be one of those people who have to build their midnight munchies from scratch?
mmm warm macaroni, cheese, mayo and random spices. Turned out pretty good really.
Everyone keeps talking about result day.
oh sweet denial.

Perhaps someday I'll be too good to be true.

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:44:26 GMT

Perhaps miracles are yours to make.
It's about time isn't it? I realize that there's respect, which I need to salvage, lost love that I need to mend, people I need to meet, people I need to cut loose, money to be earned, dreams to be attained. There's little time, but hey, all we can do is our best.
I'm done waiting around for my future to find me. I'll get there, somehow. (:

Random

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:22:12 GMT

I've made up my mind, on the most important issue of all.
Too much has gone undone with my idling. It's about time I stepped up on a few things at least.
Two weeks for 3 portfolios, all three to be worked on simultaneously. All three so entirely different.
And a resume.
It's alright. I'll be fine, thank you everybody who I've gotten involved for agreeing and pulling your weight.
It means the world to me (:
Result talk has started and every time I think of it I feel this gross clenchy feeling, cause well I know for myself why. Ohwells. I guess there are always second chances to think about but there are other things I want to do. It'll be fine. sigh.

nightmare after new years

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:17:50 GMT

It's like clutching a dancing flame in the palm of your hand, mesmerizing yet after a while the heat gets unbearable.
I've just awoken from a horrible, horrible dream. And now sleep is universes away. I nearly called you, so entirely convinced that my dream was reality, before the haze of sleep faded away. It was surreal really, this morbid premonition of sorts. For sadly enough, it seems an entirely plausible reality. What exactly it means, I don't quite want to delve into but I just hope that your pull has lost it's effect on me.
Do I still love you? No. Do I still care? Definitely.
The image of you connected to countless machines, your deathly pale lips, the beep of your pounding heart, your sweaty palms, the clammy feel of hospitals, your harsh whispers, the flush of un-understood language, your shivering hands and your ragged breaths, all burnt onto my conscious.

I hope you're alive. I hope you're safe. I hope you're happy.
Maybe it's simply a case of absence making the heart grow wronger? But yes, I won't deny that I'm fond of you, and if things were different they'd be perfect. But things are different and therefore not perfect. Oh well.

On an entirely different note, Dora came by today. She's great fun. I really hope she doesn't forget what to say tomorrow, gosh things should work out for that girl, she really deserves it. mmm. AND IF ANYONE IS READING HER BLOG AND ACCIDENTLY STUMBLES UPON MINE, FESS UP TO IT I SAY, the benefits you'd reap from that simple confession would be... well just fess up alright? I think I'll go back to reading my chick lit novel, before I try my hand at more arabic.

Womanizer

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:43:06 GMT

Boy don't try to front.

Yes, I'm listening to Brit Spears. Gosh. There's nothing to do, three days straight of partying and now I'm home with absolutely nothing to entertain myself with other than cigarettes and arabic lessons. My throat burns. GRRR

My stomach feels like it's plummeting whenever I think of the future. Gah. Ohwells, happy indulgence in escapism prevails. MY STOMACH HURTS. Maybe it isn't plummeting, maybe I just ate too many chocolates. I have nothing to say.

Anyone can touch you, can hurt you or heal you.
Anyone who can reach you, can love you or leave you.

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 00:20:02 GMT

It's been a while.
The seniors are back, which is awesome. It's going to snowball into crazy outings and fun fun fun.
It starts today with Nandita. Wheeee :D I haven't slept all night cause I'm hyper off coke grrahhh

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:28:05 GMT

I'm mid way through "Made of Honor" and it's slightly ironic that a chick flick is giving me more perspective than most other things on certain matters.
Well we'll see at the ending won't we, though I'm already rooting for Hannah to get together with Tom.

"What are we going to do?"
-"STEAL THE BRIDE"

"Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just want to be with you. "

"What in the name of the wee man is a coffee collar?"

earworm

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:07:42 GMT

"Ironic"

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

For some reason it's wedged in my head. GRRR.

view from heaven

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:59:30 GMT

I'm entirely spooked, by "The Devil's Chair". Yes I know it's got lame graphics, but the plot really messed with my mind. Especially in lieu with what's been going on recently. Freaky. I can't seem to fall asleep and Neeta's probably hit the sack by now, since I just saw her text from like 1.49 in the morning. It's 3.30. I have absolutely no reason to be up. Rahhh.
Insomnia reeks, it forces you to be yesterday's child.
Ben and Jerry's! :D Craving. Craving. Craving. Mmmm. I don't quite feel up to high tea with the entire extended family tomorrow, so I might just kidnap Rohini and whisk her to Fort Canning. (Life never ceases to amuse me)
On an entirely random note, I really, really love the food at Dilla's place. So much for food at mine having crack. I miss cheese samosas though. It's been a long while! I can't go to sleep damn it. Maybe I'll just watch another movie. Why did I have to go rent multiple psychological thrillers? grrr.
Alright time to put on "the quiet".

sleep deprivation

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:28:14 GMT

I'm sleepy.
Honestly I have nothing very constructive to say, other than the fact that I'm listening to A1. Yes shut up. Lame music but I'm indulging. GRR.
Well it just switched to aerosmith so I guess that's a step up of sorts :D

I feel slightly restless. There's the launch today, but I have no idea if I'm in the mood for inane small talk (that pretty much settles it though doesn't it) Now if roots bloody returned my bolster and unsprawled herself, I would crawl into bed and sink into lovely lovely slumber. Well one can hope can't she. I'm damn sleepy. Roots when you read this, you better feel guilty.

I think Dilla, Sasha and I might be doing something later. Lunch perhaps. I've got the strangest sashimi craving. Rahhh. Maybe we could all go for japanese. I'm rambling again. I am gonna go kick roots out of bed so I can get some sleep before Dilla comes over later

Ramble Ramble Ramble

spiraling downwards

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:26:42 GMT

Some conversations are bombs waiting to happen.
I think I miss you.
Gah. Alright, nevermind. I should take my own advice on not over-thinking things, but hey I'm a planner true to form. My head's in a whirl.
Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start?
I hate how there's no clear end when it comes to some things. Life's all about spontaneity though, so perhaps I should just live a little?
But you're going away.
How am I supposed to know these things.

heartache of sorts

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:38:59 GMT

Sometimes I feel like my brain is overheating.

I realize that I should just shake myself out of this reverie I’ve planted myself in before it’s too late, yet somehow it’s easier said than done. The sad thing is sleep doesn’t come easy when there are so many questions plaguing you, or perhaps that’s just me. Another sad thing is we can never predict when something or someone takes on more significance than they should, well simply because circumstance has this annoying tendency to be in flux.

My head’s spinning with questions; unasked, unanswered.
Yes well. Maybe prattling on about the mundane happenings might just help sort my thoughts out, though honestly I’m just looking for a way to kill time until it’s a more decent hour to show up at my best friend’s house, breakfast in hand. Its funny how love is showed in different ways, is it not? I don’t think it’s important to remember birthdays when you’re probably going to be calling the person on that day anyway, to whine about your hair not falling right or laugh about something stupid that happened. So what if the birthday wishes is an afterthought? I’m sure we’d rather just have our scatter brained selves as permanent fixtures in each others’ lives, than have to remember birthdays out of propriety.

I honestly have no idea why I went into a rant about birthdays; well I hardly remember them for one. But yes, it’s just a reflection of the friendship I guess?

Oh my I’ve gone off on a tangent haven’t I? Well yes things have been great recently. I’m still recovering slightly from yesterday, but I’ve been having fun. I’ve put together quite the list of things I hope to do now that I’m free from the shackles of academia. (Oh momentary freedom) So I should get cracking on that soon enough, as soon as this state of inertia dissolves.
This is quite a random entry really, simply because there’s too much going on up here for me to be really coherent and find the right words to phrase the right questions. Abstract thoughts, often enough are best kept abstract. They were a certain way for a reason, were they not?

It’s 4.30. Hopefully I can find enough things to do to kill my time until six, when I can start getting ready to leave mine. Good thing she’s a morning person. See this is why I can’t go to sleep, lest I fall asleep and mess up like I did today. I’m annoyed with myself for missing Dilla’s cousin’s wedding, especially since I was really looking forward to it. Ohwells! I’ll make it up to her soon.

AND FROM NOW ON I SHALL PERSEVERE AT BEING A MORNING PERSON :D
Let’s see how long that lasts.

This hasn't really helped with clearing my thoughts but hey, words have a calming effect on me. So pardon the verbose nature of this entry (if you even bothered getting this far.) There’s a lot running through my mind.

I’ll sort it out though, don’t you worry.

But he doesn't exist :D

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:05:38 GMT

Don't you just hate it when good books come towards an end?
You're reading and you're completely absorbed, before you realize it you're left with a few pages to savor and the dream ends.
Yes I have been devouring books like they're going out of fashion, but hey can you really blame me? And now it's twilight - oh gosh I've become a clone of society, fangirling over Edward Cullen, a fictional vampire boy.
Great. Just great.
But hey, he's everything a girl could possibly fall for (his characterization screams Gary Stu!). Or perhaps I shouldn't speak for every girl.
A man, perfect in almost every way yet with a fundamental irrevocable flaw endearing himself to his love (ME ME ME!).
Strength in his vulnerability, harshness interlaced with his beauty, Raging emotions kept on a leash.

Gosh I'm gushing aren't I?
mmm. Then again he doesn't exist.
Or does he?

So yes it's been a whole lot of reading in the past few days. Now that I've arranged my impulsive buys (oh borders you kill me so) I can't be bothered to leave the house much cause books make it so much easier to fade into a fantasy than reality ever does.
Though I have to admit my reality is pretty damned fantastical right now. It's been sweet, sweet existence in the very basis of that word, without worry (or much of it anyhow.)

I miss my best friend, terribly, horribly so. grrr. Well anyways I'm done trying to prolong the moments before twilight comes to an end, the book not the time silly! But yes, I shall surrender myself to the complexity that is Edward Cullen and give in to my bouts of jealousy which come about simply because I feel Isabella Swan is undeserving :D

Fangirling over.
Or is it?

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:56:14 GMT

You got lost along the twists and turns of memory lane.
Cause all that's left are broken signs and dead ends
We'd laughed at the "no trespassing" sign and climbed in
But now we can't get out

I'm lost.

Well As are over. But it's quite a lull compared to the hype that I imagined it would be. Ohwells.
I'm slightly haunted by what went down earlier, but it'll go away I hope :D
anyways I haven't got much to say really. I just needed to blog cause well I haven't blogged in a long time. And I am super grossed out by one of the post secrets. I don't think it needs to be taken down but it makes me want to throw up. Shudder shudder shudder.

exhaustion

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 09:05:37 GMT

I'm tired. Very, very tired.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother caring, or worrying, or gosh.

This is a pointless post really considering after all this questioning, I'll go back to loving and caring and worrying.

But I'm reaching a point where I won't have anymore left in me to give. Please don't push me.
I'm tired of having to prove my loyalty and love and concern and all else everyone wants proven. I'm just tired.

But yes, on a happier note I'm gonna make a friend smile in about three hours (: So YAY for that I guess

DIWALI IS COMING

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:37:07 GMT

I AM SLEEPY. SUPER DUPER SLEEPY. Okay I'm done complaining. I should get some sleep, but I guess I'll just have that while they do my hair before we rush down for lunch with the entire extended family. I hate how Diwali gets so busy.
but DIWALI IS HERE YA'LL :D
I love the colors. mmm I have nothing to wear cause as per usual I've left it for the last minute possible.

I have a hair appointment in about an hour and I'M LAZY TO GET DRESSED AND LEAVE THE HOUSE. Why? Cause I haven't slept! okay nevermind. Whine whine whine.

Coherence isn't exactly working out but whatever I feel like blogging.

A week-ish to As (freaks out and dies) alright whatever. I. FEEL. DISJOINTED. Someone please help me stop sneezing.

adsjhfadjghkjdhf

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 08:40:45 GMT

I'm in a bad mood. In fact I'm not just in a bad mood, I'm in fucked off, pissed beyond reason mood.
Girls like you have NO RIGHT to talk about girls like me.

Elitism? Hey whatever, I'm entitled. Learn how to fucking spell. And fucking meet me before you make such sweeping statements. Thanks. I don't know what she's heard, and I blame him. But he's probably got a right to not want me around, but hey, DEAL WITH IT CAUSE YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE MATURE? Right? oh wait was I mistaken? Cause age apparently is indicator of maturity, and if I can deal with it I'm sure you can being older than seventeen and all that fucking jazz.

Okay whatever. I'm pissed off. Ima go call Dilla and rant while I satiate my cancer stick craving.

[c=46][a=1]sashthevamp[/c=46][/a=1] i had to run away high so i wouldnt come home low says:

uh have you considered that ****** mightve bitched about u to her ?